I loved The Fault in Our Stars and I love what Green says on Instagram. And I agree with you all the way up until this: "so focused on others like their children or their parents, that they run the risk of not living their own lives." I took care of my mother and the time required to do so increased gradually over the years until in her last year it became at least half of my schedule and then almost entirely my schedule. And I'm a mom, and maybe you'd agree that raising kids well is more time-intensive than for previous generations for many reasons. My point is: this taking care of those I love IS my life. Even though I have displaced some of my own pursuits at times, I don't regret a minute of my sacrifice. I worry that women lose out on some of the greatest rewards of life because the messaging is to look outside one's own close circle, when in the end, that can be everything. (I do recognize that my ability to do all this caretaking is, in itself a luxury not everyone can afford--which is sad.)
Thanks, JM. I appreciate your readership and I'm grateful for your comment...
I think it's wonderful that you were able to care for your mother and I can only imagine how much she appreciated it as well.
I can't argue with your points at all. In fact, my brothers and I are helping our Mom out right now and we're happy to do so.
I guess the point I was making is when taking care of others - regardless of who - can literally jeopardize your own financial future. I'm happy to hear this doesn't sound like it was the case with you.
But I've seen many instances where a person is so focused on someone else, that they can sacrifice their own health and/or their own finances.
It's all about balance and I congratulate you on striking what sounds like a healthy balance between living a great life while being able to - and enjoying - caring for others.
Enjoy your weekend, and thanks again for sharing your perspective.
Over 35 years ago, I got selfish and started seeing a therapist thru outpatient alcoholism treatment. One day at a time, just for today, I have been sober ever since. Back in 2019 I started meeting with a financial planner. After initial meeting, he kept pushing me to change our home and auto insurance. I was not concerned at that point with saving a couple of bucks on insurance, I needed to look at where I stood financially in preparing to retire in the next couple of years. I spun my wheels getting nowhere with this person and finally used the pandemic as an excuse to end the relationship. It was pretty much a waste of money. They even screwed up our taxes which thankfully I caught before they were filed. Unfortunately I am still trying to figure things out as far as retirement is concerned.
Thanks for sharing this, Suzie. While ego-centric selfishness can bring it's own set of problems, it's never a good idea to abandon our personal needs, wants, & wishes for other people or other reasons. Regarding retirement, I hope some of my writing and perspectives have been helpful to you!
I loved The Fault in Our Stars and I love what Green says on Instagram. And I agree with you all the way up until this: "so focused on others like their children or their parents, that they run the risk of not living their own lives." I took care of my mother and the time required to do so increased gradually over the years until in her last year it became at least half of my schedule and then almost entirely my schedule. And I'm a mom, and maybe you'd agree that raising kids well is more time-intensive than for previous generations for many reasons. My point is: this taking care of those I love IS my life. Even though I have displaced some of my own pursuits at times, I don't regret a minute of my sacrifice. I worry that women lose out on some of the greatest rewards of life because the messaging is to look outside one's own close circle, when in the end, that can be everything. (I do recognize that my ability to do all this caretaking is, in itself a luxury not everyone can afford--which is sad.)
Thanks, JM. I appreciate your readership and I'm grateful for your comment...
I think it's wonderful that you were able to care for your mother and I can only imagine how much she appreciated it as well.
I can't argue with your points at all. In fact, my brothers and I are helping our Mom out right now and we're happy to do so.
I guess the point I was making is when taking care of others - regardless of who - can literally jeopardize your own financial future. I'm happy to hear this doesn't sound like it was the case with you.
But I've seen many instances where a person is so focused on someone else, that they can sacrifice their own health and/or their own finances.
It's all about balance and I congratulate you on striking what sounds like a healthy balance between living a great life while being able to - and enjoying - caring for others.
Enjoy your weekend, and thanks again for sharing your perspective.
Over 35 years ago, I got selfish and started seeing a therapist thru outpatient alcoholism treatment. One day at a time, just for today, I have been sober ever since. Back in 2019 I started meeting with a financial planner. After initial meeting, he kept pushing me to change our home and auto insurance. I was not concerned at that point with saving a couple of bucks on insurance, I needed to look at where I stood financially in preparing to retire in the next couple of years. I spun my wheels getting nowhere with this person and finally used the pandemic as an excuse to end the relationship. It was pretty much a waste of money. They even screwed up our taxes which thankfully I caught before they were filed. Unfortunately I am still trying to figure things out as far as retirement is concerned.
Thanks for sharing this, Suzie. While ego-centric selfishness can bring it's own set of problems, it's never a good idea to abandon our personal needs, wants, & wishes for other people or other reasons. Regarding retirement, I hope some of my writing and perspectives have been helpful to you!