Over 35 years ago, I got selfish and started seeing a therapist thru outpatient alcoholism treatment. One day at a time, just for today, I have been sober ever since. Back in 2019 I started meeting with a financial planner. After initial meeting, he kept pushing me to change our home and auto insurance. I was not concerned at that point with saving a couple of bucks on insurance, I needed to look at where I stood financially in preparing to retire in the next couple of years. I spun my wheels getting nowhere with this person and finally used the pandemic as an excuse to end the relationship. It was pretty much a waste of money. They even screwed up our taxes which thankfully I caught before they were filed. Unfortunately I am still trying to figure things out as far as retirement is concerned.
I loved The Fault in Our Stars and I love what Green says on Instagram. And I agree with you all the way up until this: "so focused on others like their children or their parents, that they run the risk of not living their own lives." I took care of my mother and the time required to do so increased gradually over the years until in her last year it became at least half of my schedule and then almost entirely my schedule. And I'm a mom, and maybe you'd agree that raising kids well is more time-intensive than for previous generations for many reasons. My point is: this taking care of those I love IS my life. Even though I have displaced some of my own pursuits at times, I don't regret a minute of my sacrifice. I worry that women lose out on some of the greatest rewards of life because the messaging is to look outside one's own close circle, when in the end, that can be everything. (I do recognize that my ability to do all this caretaking is, in itself a luxury not everyone can afford--which is sad.)
Over 35 years ago, I got selfish and started seeing a therapist thru outpatient alcoholism treatment. One day at a time, just for today, I have been sober ever since. Back in 2019 I started meeting with a financial planner. After initial meeting, he kept pushing me to change our home and auto insurance. I was not concerned at that point with saving a couple of bucks on insurance, I needed to look at where I stood financially in preparing to retire in the next couple of years. I spun my wheels getting nowhere with this person and finally used the pandemic as an excuse to end the relationship. It was pretty much a waste of money. They even screwed up our taxes which thankfully I caught before they were filed. Unfortunately I am still trying to figure things out as far as retirement is concerned.
I loved The Fault in Our Stars and I love what Green says on Instagram. And I agree with you all the way up until this: "so focused on others like their children or their parents, that they run the risk of not living their own lives." I took care of my mother and the time required to do so increased gradually over the years until in her last year it became at least half of my schedule and then almost entirely my schedule. And I'm a mom, and maybe you'd agree that raising kids well is more time-intensive than for previous generations for many reasons. My point is: this taking care of those I love IS my life. Even though I have displaced some of my own pursuits at times, I don't regret a minute of my sacrifice. I worry that women lose out on some of the greatest rewards of life because the messaging is to look outside one's own close circle, when in the end, that can be everything. (I do recognize that my ability to do all this caretaking is, in itself a luxury not everyone can afford--which is sad.)